Living On My Own

from Amanda by Amanda Ong

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about

Written when I first started living in another country all by myself, this song is about realizing that all the independence in the world comes with the price of not having anyone to depend on. The bridge is an escalation of the forlornness, realizing that “a house is not a home”, and then dying down into a quieter chorus pretending to be fine. It’s also a cappella because the one thing that kept me sane was joining such groups for weekly rehearsals.

lyrics

Single bedsheets and a toothbrush for one
You’d think living on your own is second to none
No curfews all year round
Sleepover, fool around
Do everything and anything you want

The first week in feels fresh and everything is new
Oh so many things to do and sights to pursue
Welcomes and orientation
This still feels like a vacation
Almost seems too good to be true

You’re fine, you say, it’s all good
At the end of the day, you know you
Just wanna go home
Cause there’s no one to call your own

Reality has set; gallivanting is a novelty
There's so much to fix; nothing seems to agree
in-between the days and sleepless nights
You lie awake; surrounded by
So many but nothing seems right

You’re fine, you say, it’s all good
At the end of the day, you know you
Just wanna go home
Cause there’s no one to call your own

The ones you love aren't with you
The friends you've made; they'll leave soon
You're living on your own
Still, your house is not a home

You’re fine, you say, it’s all good
At the end of the day, you know you
Just wanna go home
Cause there’s no one to call your own

I’m fine, I say, I’m all good
At the end of the day I know i
Just wanna go home
But there’s no one to hold me close

it feels silent and empty
Hopeless; unhappy
I’m stuck living on my own

credits

from Amanda, released September 25, 2020
Lyrics by: Amanda Ong
Music by: Amanda Ong
Bass vocal: Raimi Rusydi
Vocal percussion: Amit Kashyap
Mixing: Evan Chan
Mastering: Sonicwerkz Production

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about

Amanda Ong Singapore

Born and bred in Singapore, Amanda Ong is an indie-folk singer-songwriter who seeks to soothe listeners struggling with mental health issues through her music. Also a proponent of the Singapore arts community, Amanda ensures that the work she produces still keeps in touch with her Singaporean roots. ... more